I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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