Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
