I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
