I wish i was in the wii world.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
