I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he was CRYING into my vagina
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im part way to drunk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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