you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize