he puts the penis in happiness.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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