He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize