Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
