Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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