why didn't you poke me back
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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