but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
