im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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