omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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