It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
