I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
