But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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