U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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