So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
