I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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