I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My vagina is very pro this idea
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
