one might say we're banned from that church
Did I show you my penis last night?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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