is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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