He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
