but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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