okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
