Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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