Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
