Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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