If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize