The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
