So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
