Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
