it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
