Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
