Cold hands, warm shart.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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