Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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