She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
