toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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