yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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