im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
