i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
