I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
