so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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