Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
