its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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