Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
