But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
