Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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