so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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