we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Found the puke drawer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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