Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
