I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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