Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
