this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize