You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
