I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
