I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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