This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
